Interlude : "The Life of Lead"

In the "short interval" between 1938VBCW Big Games, a "film short" to keep you entertained : "The Life of Lead" by Nic Robson and Eureka Miniatures. Definitely a contender for the 1938VBCW Oscars: FILM

Sir Gilbert's Sweetmeat Shock : "Engaged in A Vulgar Trade"

After the seismic shock to public taste engendered by the publication of Colonel Mustard's memoirs (lavishly illustrated copies available to order from The Liverpool Free Press, 1 Karl Marx Wharf, with a special introduction by Comrade Professor "Bill" Winters) comes news of yet another affront to decency and respectability.

According to the Government Intelligence & Telegraphy Service ("GITS"), it appears that Miss Fragrance Sweetmeat, the very very personal secretary to Sir Gilbert Hill, has been "engaged in a vulgar trade" in Devizes, far from there Herefordshire VBCW. It is said that Miss Sweetmeat, having adopted the stage (?) name "VAMP", will there "make herself available" to all and sundry for the princely purchase price (in 1938 terms, taking account of the collapse of sterling) of £1.75.

Miss Sweetmeat in attendance upon Sir Gilbert and Lady Hill

Miss Sweetmeat accompanying Sir Gilbert Hill at the Battle of Winforton Pontoons

Comparison of contemporary photographs of Miss Sweetmeat and "the VAMP" leave very little prospect of mistaken identity. The gossip within the City and County Refreshment Rooms has reached a frenzied crescendo. Just when he thought it would be safe to leave his turret rooms at Kentchurch Court, now all of Herefordshire awaits a public statement from Sir Gilbert....

A Treasury of Campaign Maps

For those around the globe who are breathlessly following the progress of the Hereford1938 AVBCW campaign, but who may not be wholly familiar with the geography of the County or have the opportunity to "tramp the battlefields" in the company of the editor of "Hereford VBCW : Then and Now" (other historic tour guides are available), this Treasury of Historic Maps of the County (at the highly detailed scale of 6inches to the mile) may be of considerable interest. The 1930s - 1950s maps are generally the most useful, being before the "Beeching Cuts" to the railway network. Such maps are fully "zoomable", although a moment or two may be necessary before a "zoomed" map comes fully into focus. By way of example, this map illustrates the locality of Winforton and Willersley, the site of Sir Gilbert Hill's victory at the Battle of Winforton Pontoons. The "Old Farmhouse" and St. Michael's Church, Winforton, may be found, as photographed in the contemporaneous battle reports referred to HERE. 

Concerns for Sir Gilbert!

Sir Gilbert Hill (in 1/60 scale), accompanied by Lady Hill and
 Miss Fragrance Sweetmeat, Very Personal Assistant to Sir Gilbert

Concerns have recently been widely expressed within Hereford's City and County Dining and Refreshment Rooms that Sir Gilbert Hill, of Pontrilas, Ewas Harold and Abbey Dore, may well be over-celebrating the victory of his famous Golden Valley Invincibles (and their Anglican allies) at the recent Battle of Winforton Pontoons. With his recent recruitment of some strange tribals as a "(Dominions and Colonial) Loyal Volunteers Section", lately supported by some notorious female practitioners of "the dark arts", these central questions are being asked : is Sir Gilbert quite well? Has he fallen victim to a ju-ju spell? And just what is he smoking?

Just what is he smoking? The 1/1 scale Sir Gilbert Hill manoeuvres
 his landing fleet at the Battle of Winforton Pontoons, inspired
(it is widely surmised) by some "waccy baccy", as said to be
a gift from Chief Kansan O'Flynn [note1] Or is it simply
 "The Sweet Cheroot of Victory" and the characteristic
 VBCW smell of "nicotine in the morning"?

Rumours are spreading that Sir Gilbert has even taken to drinking heavily, such strong spirits causing him to suffer from serious delusions or, in layman's terms, "to go absolutely, completely nautical" [note2]:

"I see no ships". In the midst of one of his legendary drinking bouts, The 1/1 scale
Sir Gilbert suffers "a fit of the Nelsons" (or should that be "Priens"?) [note2].

In his present rumoured travails, Sir Gilbert will undoubtedly benefit from the support of his close family, both Lady Hill and his eldest son, The Honourable Timothy Hill, together with the wise counsel of his particular friend, Monsieur Picardy, and the tender ministrations of his Very Personal Assistant, Miss Sweetmeat. Nevertheless, the prevailing gossip is that Sir Gilbert's recent erratic behaviour has caused him to be "confined to quarters" within the turret rooms at his Pontrilas HQ, historic Kentchurch Court [note3]:

Note1: oh, alright then. In case the modern day health police are worried, it's just a strange trick of the camera that makes the 1/1 scale Sir Gilbert look like he's smoking. But as this is AVBCW 1938, spoilsports...

Note2: Cheers! A photo from the absolutely splendid LAF thread to be found HERE, as marvellously titled "On the Day, Went the Eagle's Landing Well?". A full ingredients list for Sir Gilbert's interestingly named "Between the Sheets" cocktail (shades of Miss Sweetmeat, shurely?) may be found within the LAF thread, HERE

Note3: and historically the home of the Lucas-Scudamores. Quite how Sir Gilbert came to base himself at Kentchurch Court during the Hereford AVBCW may have to be the subject of another blogpost. For now, it need only be noted that "Lord Scudamore's Loyal Legion" were specifically singled out for praise by Lt. Everard (as he then was) in his confidential (but captured) despatches after the Battle of Winforton Pontoons. See Lt. Everard's despatches within this blogpost

News - JP's New Year Nan!

JP, long the co-organiser of the Hereford1938 campaign and now our distinguished "Honorary Co-President Emeritus", has been notably busy over the festive period - painting up a lovely, specially made 28mm model of his own grandmother:

It's m'Nan!

For the full story as told by JP, see HERE

BBS BROADCASTS "THE TRUE STORY"

The "Bishop's Broadcasting Service" ("BBS") has recently taken to broadcasting a new multi-part documentary series upon the late Battle of Winforton Pontoons ("the Autumn Big Game 2018"). The documentary also provides valuable insight on the fate of the captured Government commander, Stokkies Joubert. Episode One starts here, while Episode Four concludes here.

A victor in the field - Sir Gilbert Hill and staff at the Battle of Winforton Pontoons

A PROMOTION (AND THOSE FASCIST LEADERS IN FULL)

The "County & Social" pages of "The Hereford Times", renamed the "Military, County & Social" from the beginning of the Very British Civil War in Herefordshire, today carried a short announcement:

"Everard, Richard (Lt.) to be styled Major (County Rank Only) with seniority dating from the Battle of Winforton Pontoons. Major Everard will assume command of all HM Government Forces within the County, reporting directly to the Lord Warden of the Marches, Lord de Braose."

It appears that the Lord Warden has thus moved quickly to fill the leadership position so recently vacated ("with extreme prejudice") by Group Leader Giles. Demonstrating an unexpected delicacy of diplomatic manoeuvre, Lord de Braose did not forward Lt. Everard's name for promotion to the War Office (and hence the King), preferring to provide his new Commander in Chief with a "County rank" only. No doubt it was anticipated that, whatever Lt. Everard's undoubted military merits, his reputed closeness to Queen Wallis would have earned His Majesty's express disapproval of any proposed promotion within the regular Army.

As the newly promoted Major Everard settled into his substantial offices at the County Hall, he may have paused to give some thought to the fate of his various predecessors and fellow Government commanders:

(1). Lord Foy (in hiding): Government C-in-C at the beginning of the Herefordshire VBCW, Lord Foy enjoyed substantial early successes, including the capture of Anglican held Hereford and the detention of the Bishop of Hereford himself, before suffering successive disasters at the First and Second Battles of Foy. He escaped the Government rout at the latter only by shaving off his instantly identifiable moustache and diving head first into the River Wye in an attempt to swim to safety. It is said that he did indeed escape (by punt), but found himself unable to live with his consequent disgrace. He has therefore adopted a new identity and now lives under an assumed name, earning his living as a humble hop picker and agricultural labourer in the vicinity of Leominster.

(2). Captain Arrowsmith (absent without leave): BUF Supremo and effective Government C-in-C following the sudden departure of Lord Foy, Captain Arrowsmith rose to command prominence in a succession of subsequent battles (the Battle of Eardisley, The Battle of Bredwardine Bridge, and the Battle of Bredwarrdine Fords) which (just) contained the Anglicans' attempted advance from Ross on Wye to Hay on Wye in order to capture the whole of the south of the County. Known for his love of behemothic tanks and high technology (planes, "darleks", multi machine gunned armoured motorcycles and converted canal boats) together with a contempt for civilian lives, private property and cute furry animals (particularly dogs), Captain Arrowsmith's BUF forces and "canal boat fleet" enjoyed a last success against a Socialist/Anglican alliance at the Battle of Whitney on Wye before he inexplicably disappeared from Hereford and the Hereford VBCW. His controversial disappearance has subsequently been associated with the disappearance of the Bank of England's gold reserves and collapse of the pound sterling. There has been much County gossip and speculation about Captain Arrowsmith's subsequent fate : it is presently thought that the once all powerful BUF Leader now scrapes a living in Munich as a lowly translator for "aryan lifestyle magazines".

(3). Lord Robert Grover (returned to his estates): Senior Royalist Officer within the County during the early battles of Hereford's VBCW, it is said that Lord Robert "fell into disfavour" with Lord de Braose, HM Government's Lord Warden of the Marches, after intervening in Lord de Braose's enraged attempt to murder the imprisoned Bishop of Hereford. While a re-appearance in Hereford's VBCW cannot be ruled out, Lord Robert has, for the moment, "returned to his estates". 

(4). Major Straitt-Jackett (exploded): Major Miles Straitt-Jackett achieved an early reputation as a masterful VBCW diplomat. It was he who persuaded (the very late) "Cousin Verity" (a supposedly loyal Anglican LDV commander) into a "battlefield truce" at the Battle of Berrington Approaches, thereby saving HM Government from total disaster. He then brokered a treaty between HM Government and Sir Barrington Patchpole KC at the subsequent Battle of Wigmore, thereby administering the first check to Comrade Professor "Bill" Winters "Red Horde" offensive. But for one small matter, Major Straitt-Jackett may well have been destined to achieve overall command of HM Govt forces. The explosion of a heavy artillery shell directly on top of his head in the last stages of the Battle of Wigmore, however, did little for Major Straitt-Jackett's career prospects. He (or his re-animated remains) is presently an in-patient at the Special Hospital for Injuries Treatment, Woolwich, and his future remains uncertain. 

(5). Commandante Jay (sunk): Commandante Jay, the leader of the (Politically Confused) Spanish Nationalist Monarchist Field Force allied to the BUF in the course of many Hereford VBCW battles, distinguished himself further by finishing second in the County Golf Cup Challenge, and thereafter returned to Madrid for "a triumphal homecoming". Recalled to the BUF colours for the Battle of Wigmore, it is said that the ship carrying Commandante Jay struck an Anglican mine at the junction of the Rivers Severn and Wye, and rumoured that the transport sank "with all hands". The search for Commandante Jay continues, but it is very much feared that he has drowned, along with his entire Field Force.

(6). Commandant Stokkies Joubert (captured): A (reputedly very) loveable South African rogue, Stokkies Joubert commanded the "King's Colonials" from an early stage of the Hereford VBCW, taking part in the Battles of Second Ledbury and Marcle Ridge. A constant support for HM Government throughout the VBCW (when not wenching, carousing or "lying in" at the City Arms Hotel, Hereford), Joubert was captured by the Bishop of Ludlow's forces at the Battle of Winforton Pontoons, and presently languishes dolefully in the deepest dungeon beneath Ludlow Castle. 

(7). Group Leader Giles (shot at dawn): although HM Government have lost a significant number of leaders during the course of the Hereford VBCW (see above), Group Leader Giles is the only one to enjoy the dubious distinction of having been shot by his own troops after a drumhead court martial.

Notwithstanding his own meteoric rise to command, Major Everard must now contend with the substantial challenges to Government authority within the County. Attacked from both south and north by now battle-hardened Anglican armies and from the west by the fanatical legions of Comrade Professor Winter's Not So Broad Front (Not After Our Latest Round of Liquidations) True Communists, Major Everard must recruit new Government commanders, recall those who are still alive, at liberty and even arguably within their senses (Roderick Spode, anyone?), obtain immediate allies (a social call upon the Malvern Hills Conservators, perhaps?) procure substantial re-inforcements from within or without the County (Captain Queeg's WYRD Force?) and generally "stabilise his lines". None of this is likely to be particularly easy to accomplish, a prison cell or worse awaits any failure, and the statistical odds seem stacked against him.....