HEREFORD VBCW AUTUMN BIG GAME 2024 - THE SCENARIO !

"The plane ! The plane !" Little Timmy Tompkins was beside himself with excitement, pointing upward at a lumbering twin - prop biplane, flying low. Farmer Watkins, briefly raising his eyes skyward from the plough, nodded agreement. "Ar, that it be, right enough.". The plane was huge, and getting lower, both engines spluttering unevenly.

"It's a Handley Page Heyford!" squealed little Timmy. "Still the backbone of Bomber Command, even now, Farmer Watkins ! All these modern types they're talking about - like the Armstrong Whitworth Whitley or the Vickers Wellesley - well, it's taking them ages to be introduced to service. Heyfords are still the best - and they can be used as heavy transport aircraft, too!"

"Mebbe yer right, n'all, young feller". Farmer Watkins squinted upward and sighed. Little Timmy Tompkins was really rather an annoying little brat, all things considered. "Looks like it be in trouble, n'all. Could be coming in to the Long Field, down thereabout..."

Watkins rolled his "Rs" as authentically as he could, seeking always to stay in character. It had been a long time since he had received the death threats from those BUF hit squads, forcing him to flee from his position as Reader in English Literature at Christchurch, Oxford, and go undercover. Ah, what he would give for some decent conversation and a small glass of port in the old Senior Common Room....

"There's our boys!" squealed little Timmy again, watching the plane land in Long Field and the crew descend. "Gosh ! I so want to join the Royal Air Force when I grow up, Farmer Watkins!" The farmer grunted, studying the uniforms. The crew wore the light blue of the RAF, certainly, but the descending passengers wore uniforms of a different blue, some in olive green smocks, with distinctive, very un-British helmets...

"Luftwaffe !" Little Tommy whistled. "Fallschirmjager - that's paratroops, you see, Farmer Watkins. Goering's lot. And they look like they're putting a defensive perimeter around the aircraft ! Look how they're setting up that machine gun ! What do you think can be going on ?"

Watkins steeled himself to retain his cover. "This be Little Hereford, young feller. Dangerous it be, these parts, for furriners.......'specially for those with secrets, y'see? Or treasure, happen it be, hahar..."

Farmer Watkins of Little Hereford (the former Reader in English Literature
at Christchurch, Oxford, now deep undercover)

It's the Autumn Big Game 2024 ("Return to Little Hereford") ! Once again, we leave the main campaign narrative to return to the most dangerous parish in the whole of the County, familiar to all those took part (or studied subsequently!) the Autumn Big Game 2023 ("Big Trouble in Little Hereford"). But this time, we're northward of St. Mary Magdalene Church (rustled and robbed by Pete J. on the last occasion), right on the border with Shropshire (for reasons that will become clear, rather rapidly)......

1. The Tables

It looks like a good turn out of VBCW players for this Big Game, enough for two "Big Tables" representing the northern boundaries of the Parish of Little Hereford, each consisting of three farms randomly distributed across the Tables by the Umpires (there should be six players per Big Table). Umpire/Terrain Tsar Roo will, as per usual, provide and place all the roads, hedges, ditches, trees, bushes, haystacks etc. that might be necessary to give us a suitably "agricultural feel" (and break up fields of fire). Between the two "Big Tables" is a narrow table representing Long Field, containing a 1/56 wooden model of a landed Handley Page Heyford...

A Handley Page Heyford. Not the one forced down into Long Field, Little Hereford,
but a handcrafted model made from Philippine mahogany. The Hereford VBCW version
is slightly larger (but was thankfully less expensive)

2. The Farms and Farmers

Each of the six farms is owned and run by a "Big Man" - the 1930s equivalent of an "agricultural baron". It just so happens that each "Big Man" is represented on the table by a Charbens or Britains 54mm figure dating from the 1930s, so quite as old as the VBCW itself. Each "Big Man" is placed within the boundaries of his farm and will not move during the course of the Big Game - he is just as personality placeholder.

Each of the six farms has a section of 10 armed agricultural workers (rifles/LMG) standing ready to defend their "Big Man" and farm. While within their own farm, all agricultural works are immune from morale tests. They are all determined to "fight and die for their home" and while on the farm count as "Trained/Regular" for all other purposes. Should the agricultural workers be moved out of their own farm, however, they count as "Raw/Green" for all purposes, including morale.

Some sections of agricultural workers may be supplemented by the presence of improvised AT weaponry. The self sacrificing agricultural workers with TNT satchels and the "bomb pigs" provided some amusement last time out....

At the start of the Big Game, all "Big Men" and sections of agricultural workers stand on the defensive, and are under Umpire Control.

3. The Ladies !

Farms are not the only thing to be scattered across the Big Tables by the Umpires. Oh no ! On this occasion, there are also a wide variety of 28mm, individually based, ladies (of differing types and political allegiances, some armed, some not so). We'll get to the details of these ladies soon enough, but for now it's enough to note (although this shouldn't be taken the wrong way) that they take the place of the cows of the Autumn Big Game 2023....

4. Random Female Formed Forces

Quite apart from the individual ladies, each Big Table also boasts a random number of "Female Formed Forces", i.e. organised sections of ladies. Like the agricultural workers, these are on the defensive and under Umpire Control at the beginning of the Big Game. Unlike the agricultural workers, however, they do not inhabit any of the farms, but are simply rambling in the countryside. While we will have to wait until the "Big Day" to learn exactly what "Female Formed Forces" are rambling on each table, it is known that they will certainly include Psycho-Nuns ("they're back - and this time they mean business"), Lady de Braose's "Kill Bill" Ninja Crumpet Death Squad (look out, Comrade Colonel Professor Winters, revenge is coming!) an Urban Women's Institute, lots of hockey stick waving schoolgirls, and at least two Bordels de Campagne (thanks Alan!).

5. The Fenians

The Little Herefordshire countryside is a dangerous place, and not the least of the dangers (on this occasion) is an infestation of fanatical Fenians. Yes, it's a welcome return for Eamonn O'Toole O'Toole and his Mad Bommerz, somewhat misplaced in the Autumn Big Game 2023 as "an Intelligence Section" and now restored to their true function of randomly blowing things up (including themselves). In addition to the random Ladies, and the random Female Formed Forces, each table has three Fenian Mad Bommerz placed - you guessed it - randomly. The Fenians Mad Bommerz stand on the defensive and are subject to Umpire Control at the start of the Big Game.

6. So What's It All About, Then ?

Truth be told, there's lots of games going on within this Big Game. Every player brings along his own Platoon, organised as per the "Platoon Generator" within the WTDW Rules ("the Hereford Homebrew Variant" as already emailed to all participants) and sets up where he will on one of the Big Tables. 

"Return to Little Hereford" is one of our "All Play All Slugfests", so it doesn't matter which faction your Platoon represents, or whom you might fight. Your Platoon could simply be 'an independent battlegroup' from one of the VBCW Factions (Anglican, BUF, Royalist etc. etc.) stranded or left behind in this parish by the Hereford VBCW's famous "War of Manoeuvre". Or you could be an outfit of robbers, or brigands, or discontented agricultural workers, or anything you like, really. The point is that you're not bound by VBCW Faction, but are acting quite independently and for your own personal interests. Nobody is likely to enquire too closely as to what is happening in remote Little Hereford, and you can therefore feel free to make (or unmake) strange alliances as you wish...anything to succeed in your aims:

(1). The first aim for each player is to capture a Farm. Possession of a Farm confers a considerable advantage upon the relevant player, in that it is the only place where a player can "invite ladies to tea". 

(2). The second aim for each player is to capture as many ladies  "invite as many ladies" to tea as possible. By "ladies", we mean the individually based ladies scattered across the Big Table, not the rather more threatening "Female Formed Forces" (who frankly are best avoided).

(3). The third aim for each player is the negative of the first two, i.e. stop your opponents ("with extreme prejudice") from capturing a Farm, or inviting ladies to tea, or otherwise seeking to gain an advantage over you. After all, all's fair in an "All Play All Slugfest"!

(4). The final aim (well, possibly more of a luxury, really) for each player is to discover the secret within the downed Handley Page Heyford. Rumours abound as to what might be in the hold of the plane, but even little Timmy Tompkins has worked out that, if the RAF and the Luftwaffe are co-operating to defend it, there must be something (or perhaps someone) extremely valuable within.....

So there are the aims, and then this question arises - what's the point of "inviting ladies to tea" ? At the end of the Big Game, every player in possession of ladies holding ladies hostage who has successfully "invited ladies to tea" may use his "tea party" as individual voters in one of the MOST SEISMIC DECISIONS ever to be made in the Hereford VBCW - can Stokkies Joubert escape from Anglican captivity ?

7. Who's this Stokkies Joubert chap ?

Commandant Stokkies Joubert, roistering devil-may-care lecher leader of the "Kings Colonials", is one of the legendary figures of the Hereford VBCW campaign. During the early stages of the Civil War, Joubert strongly contributed to the Royalist cause at the Battles of Second Ledbury and Marcle Ridge. Nevertheless, possibly suffering from a surfeit of flopsies dames ladies and reputedly of alcohol, Joubert was captured by the Ludlow Expeditionary Force at the close of the Battle of Winforton Pontoons (Autumn Big Game 2018).

The start of the Civil War - Stokkies Joubert at the head of the Kings Colonials.
Edward VIII takes the salute in the Strand, London.

Captured.....a rather stouter (if by now much decorated) Stokkies surrounded by soldiers of the
 Ludlow Expeditionary Force at the close of the Battle of Winforton Pontoons.

Can it really be five whole years since Stokkies was seen in the Hereford VBCW ? Well, as we all know, time runs rather differently in the Hereford 1938 universe, and Stokkies captivity may only have lasted a month or two "in campaign time". But it hasn't been pleasant - from first interrogation to lending his name to a fashionable style of Women's Institute pinafore - there's every chance that Stokkies could be a 'broken man' by now, however long his captivity.

But the rumour is that he's going to "attempt a break-out" in the near future, and that's why Little Hereford is awash with ladies. Some have arrived (so they say) "to assist the authorities" and prevent Stokkies escape - mostly Anglican sympathisers and "wronged women". Others have come to assist Stokkies flight, anxious to have such a charismatic commander back in the field and in the service of the King - mostly Royalist and some BUF sympathisers. Some are pursuing their own (very) private agendas, and others are simply "hopeless groupies" desperate for a sight (and preferably a lot more!) of "the great man" as he treks back to Hereford and glory.

And Stokkies' destiny is in the hands of the ladies - or more accurately, of the players who successfully "invited them to tea" during the Big Game. At the conclusion of play, each player can use his tea party to vote in a simple ballot, placing figures in a "Yea" column (Free Stokkies Joubert!) or a "Nay" column ("Let Stokkies Rot!"). As this is a Very British ballot, it's "First Past the Post" and simple majority rule - none of those foreign proportional representation or transferable vote systems! In the event of a tie (and this might be a close vote), the player declared to have "won" the Big Day will have the casting vote......

8. The Rules

So how do you "invite a lady to tea" ? And who is going to control the "Female Formed Forces", and how? Or for that matter, the Fenian Mad Bommerz ? What is the role of the Bordels de Campagne ? All the relevant rules are coming, VBCW chaps, in the next post.....