What has happened to Major Straitt-Jackett ? Report from our Special Correspondent
Mystery surrounds the fate of
Major Miles Straitt-Jackett following the recent battle at Wigmore Hall in
North Herefordshire. Communist news agencies have loudly proclaimed the death
of the well-known Royalist commander, who assumed command at the Battle of Mortimer Country after Storm Commander
Giles was forced to retire to the rear due to the effects of wounds previously suffered at the Siege Lines of Kington.
Major Straitt-Jackett has been credited with forming
the alliance between HM Government and Sir Barrington Patchpole’s Mortimer LDV forces, thereby ensuring the defeat of the Communist attempt to seize Wigmore Hall and take control of
Mortimer Country. However, he has not been seen since the battle, and
unconfirmed reports suggest he may have been hit by a stray artillery shell
just before the alliance was finally concluded. Communist media have gleefully claimed
he was ‘blown to bits by artillery’ but a government spokesman has denied this, admitting only that Major Straitt-Jackett "had been wounded".
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| The immediate aftermath of the artillery strike on Major Straitt-Jackett's HQ. The crew of the BUF's own heavy artillery piece look on in horror. However Government spokesmen may attempt to "spin" this evidence, independent observers may consider that Major Straitt-Jackett is, at the very least, doing a very good impression of being very, very dead. |
Reports from the battlefield have
talked of BUF troops ‘picking up body parts in buckets’ afterwards, but these
grisly reports are unconfirmed. What is known is that a closed ambulance left
the area at high speed with a military escort immediately after the battle and
headed towards London. Several hours later a similar-looking vehicle arrived at
Woolwich Military Hospital, and allegedly went directly to a special secure
unit housing the “Special Hospital for Investigating Trauma”. Little is known
about the activities of this secretive government facility, but it is believed
to be headed by well-known scientist and transplant specialist, Dr.Jekyll.
Further reports from our correspondent suggest that the renowned neuro-surgeon, Professor Frank Enstein, arrived at the hospital shortly thereafter. A
Government spokesman declined to comment on these reports, dismissing them as
‘fanciful speculation in poor taste when our thoughts and prayers should be
with a true patriot’.
The continuing ill-health of
Storm Commander Giles, the mystery of the fate of Major Straitt-Jackett, and
the continued absence of the notorious Captain Arrowsmith means that HM Government
has been temporarily deprived of its top three field commanders within the
County of Herefordshire. It is reported that, by the end of the Battle of
Wigmore Hall, the entirety of HM Government forces were under the command of Sergeant
Bert Hardnutt, whose promotion to Sergeant-Major for ‘exemplary conduct in
difficult circumstances’ was today
posted in the London Gazette.
It may be that the successful
defence of Mortimer County and the agreement reached with Sir Barrington
Patchpole KC, have together revived the fortunes of H.M.Government within the
County of Hereford generally, but such appears to have been won at a
considerable, although possibly temporary, cost in top leadership.
Notes : with many thanks to Alan for the above Special Correspondent's Report.
BREAKING NEWS - Councillor Cracknutt "confined to quarters" at Wormelow Tump - BREAKING NEWS - Government investigation. Allegations of "treason", "treating with the enemy on the field of battle", "receiving corrupt payments" and "breaking the speed limit" in the retirement from the Battle of Berrington Approaches - BREAKING NEWS - HM Government Hero and LDV Leader pledges "to fight all allegations" BREAKING NEWS - HM Government leadership "in complete disarray". Sergeant-Major Bert Hardnutt "now being considered for promotion to Field Marshall" MORE FOLLOWS SOONEST.....
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