It's back to the famous City & County Dining and Refreshment Rooms, still the best source of all campaign gossip in the Hereford VBCW. Notwithstanding the defection of certain senior Government staff officers to the nearby Imperial Cafe, the lure of a pot of Earl Grey and stacked platter of hot buttered muffins (not to mention a sprinkling of femmes fatale) has proved quite irresistible to many of those said to be "in the know".
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The City and County Dining and Refreshment Rooms - delivering another
round of hot tea and even hotter gossip ! |
After the Fall of Leominster to the forces of the newly founded Social Democratic Republic of Bromyard and the consequent capture of Government commanders Eustace Spode and Staff Captain Maynard, with Commander Queeg escaping only by the narrowest of margins aboard the BUF Armoured Train, the "Black Arrow" (see the Spring Big Game 2022 - Last Train from Leominster?), Hereford is decidedly jittery. The Communists and Social Democrats are only 12 miles from Hereford High Town, with the Anglican Forces of Ludlow not far behind - but even the most disastrous of defeats "in the field" can soon be overtaken by other momentous events...
(1). The Triumphant Return of Eustace Spode !
In an astonishing reversal of his once tattered fortunes, Eustace Spode, the nephew of infamous Blackshorts leader Roderick Spode, surprised all of Hereford by his victory at the little town of Llareggub in West Wales (see the Autumn Big Game 2022 - Alarm at Llarreggub!). The surprise was compounded by Spode's very presence in Wales, for the last that had been heard of him was as a prisoner of the Presteigne Communists.
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| Eustace Spode and his HQ Section |
In truth, it was not much of a battle. Contrary to expectations, Gwain and his followers had done very little but "tend to their sheep" since they had occupied Hay on Wye, and were taken "by surprise" (and allegedly "in flagrante", but the less said about that, the better) before they fled.
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| Kenny Gwain and friend in hurried flight from Hay on Wye. |
Spode's plans remain obscure, but there is an ever present danger that his Blackshorts could "sweep down the Golden Valley" in an attack upon the territories of Sir Gilbert Hill. After long experience and many battles (or, as he would put it, "many inevitable victories") Sir Gilbert has "retired with honour" from the VBCW in Herefordshire, moving to Borsetshire and placing his Herefordshire lands and extensive criminal network commercial enterprises in the stewardship of the Bishop of Monmouth, his long standing friend and "personal spiritual adviser".
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Sir Gilbert Hill, Lady Hill and Sir Gilbert's very personal secretary, Miss Florence Sweetmeat.
An honourable retirement to Borsetshire. |
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Sir Gilbert's Pontrilas supporters and tenantry ready themselves to defend the Golden Valley.
Can they do so without the leadership of their inspirational C-in-C? |
(2). Leominster - the Rev. Duff-Postin's Greatest Diplomatic Coup !
In a dramatic simultaneous announcement, the Bishop of Ludlow and Councillor Arthur Dribblesnot, Leader of the Independent Republic of Bromyard, declared their "firm and amicable agreement" upon establishing a "Three Counties Co-Prosperity Sphere" and upon "passing stewardship of Leominster" from the Social Democratic (or Democratic Socialist, as you will) Republic of Bromyard to the Anglican forces of Ludlow. There seems to be a lot of this "stewardship" stuff going on these days..
It appears that the Ludlow/Bromyard pact was the brainchild of the Rev. Duff Postin, High Chancellor of Ludlow, who has thereby re-established his once golden reputation (tarnished after the Communists, then masquerading as "the Broad Left", infamously broke their Treaty obligations with the Ludlow Anglicans) as "the Talleyrand of Herefordshire". There are said to be "a variety of secret codicils" to the published treaty, which no-one knows anything about as yet (because their secret codicils, obviously.)
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The Bishop of Ludlow and his Chancellor, the Rev Duff Postin, make their dramatic announcement
to a Pathe news crew. |
The advantages to the Anglicans of the "Three Counties Co-Prosperity Sphere" are clear - a considerable reduction in the "threat level" from the neighbouring (and unstable) Social Democratic Republic, plus control of Leominster, obtained not by conflict but by diplomacy.
The advantages to the Social Democrats are equally clear. The infant Republic needed to buy time for development, pacify their powerful Anglican neighbours, and to relocate
its best troops and
"Independent Armoured Brigade" (Sir Alan McGuffin, prop.) from the "Leominster Front" to the "Ledbury Front", facing off against the increasing pressure from the highly mechanised
Ledbury BUF.
Anglican possession of Leominster, as Councillor Dribblesnot is only too aware, also places a "buffer zone of security" between Bromyard and the marauding forces of Comrade Colonel Professor Winter's Communists. For the moment, however, it appears that all parties agree upon a general advance "upon a similar axis" (i.e. along the B49) towards Hereford itself....
(3). Cadbury's - County Chocolate Supplies in Peril !
Which means that everyone in the "City and County" is pouring over a certain section of their Bartholomew's "Half-Inch to the Mile" maps of Herefordshire:
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| The B49 road from Leominster to Hereford, via Ford, Hope under Dinmore and Holmer. |
It has not taken long for even the most amateur of City & County strategists (Hilda and Gertrude) to realise that the precipitate retreat of Government forces from Leominster - it is said that even the bordel de campagne "only just got away" - to the hastily constructed "Dinmore Hill Line" has "left uncovered" a critical economic asset within the County : the newly constructed Cadbury's Factory at Marlbrook, just south of Ford. As various "attacking forces" are already reported to be "straggling past Stoke Prior", the factory is clearly in grave danger. The City & County is full of well-intentioned advice to Major Everard, C-in-C of His Majesty's Forces in Herefordshire, who has taken personal command of "the Dinmore Hill Line" and all defending forces. Will he sally forth to save the County's critical chocolate supplies?
But there's more.......
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| You mean there's more, Daphne ? Do tell ! |
(4). BUF - the Cult of Captain Arrowsmith !
There can be no more truly satisfactory gossip in the City & County than speculation about the "mysteriously disappeared" Captain Arrowsmith. Once the mighty overlord of all Government forces in Herefordshire, Arrowsmith precipitately deserted the County without explanation, apparently taking the Bank of England gold reserves with him. In a manhunt unparalleled even in its own annals, Fleet Street has subsequently reported him as having been (variously) killed by headhunters in Borneo, blown up in an explosion at the Royal Ordnance Factory, Rotherwas (see HERE), fled to Germany and been double-crossed by "Der Fuhrer", thereby reduced to scraping a lowly existence as an editor of Aryan lifestyle magazines (see HERE), or living in Rome and 'making fettucine" with a waiter named Guido (see HERE). Some or all of such reports were nonsense, of course (this is Fleet Street) for it has now been discovered that Arrowsmith actually removed himself to Hollywood, acting as valet for one of the United States' leading authors, Sinclair Lewis, and lending his name to a successful novel and screenplay:
Or so it is said. It now appears that
"El Seed" and his Cultists are not the only
secret society within Herefordshire. According to rumour, a small but very senior faction-within-a-faction inside the Herefordshire BUF dismiss all of Fleet Street's reports about Arrowsmith, claiming that the now obscure "author's valet" is "nothing but an imposter". They
know where Arrowsmith is, and it is certainly not in Hollywood....for their courageous hero
never left Herefordshire.
That's what they believe, Daphne. Have another muffin and listen to this! Yes, he never left Herefordshire - to the contrary, Arrowsmith is
merely sleeping in a hidden cave or barrow within the County, surrounded by the Bank of England gold, ready to
rise again when "the great cause" needs him! Apparently he took a special 'sleeping draught' provided to him by his Chief Scientific Adviser (and notorious cider addict),
Professor Dave Ross. Well, why else do you think Ross has been isolated ever since on an island in the middle of the Bodenham Lake? And why else do you think that poor, poor
Group Leader Giles was stood up against a wall and summarily shot by Commander Queeg? Was he "the Man who Knew Too Much"? You surely didn't believe all that stuff about a strawberry ice cream obsession? Or perhaps he was "the Man who Knew Nothing At All", and Queeg was merely eliminating a rival who had refused to join "the Black Brethren"?? We just don't know, Daphne - but there's only one place in the County for Arrowsmith's barrow, that's for sure -
somewhere atop Dinmore Hill ! Oh, I know what the sceptics will say....
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| A sceptic reacts to the latest Arrowsmith gossip |
(5). And in other news....
Speaking of former Government bigwigs,
Lord Foy has finally broken cover! Quite whether his reputation will recover from "hiding out" as a humble agricultural labourer and hop-picker all this time, who knows? It seems that he was just too worried about being conscripted by the Social Democratic Republic of Bromyard, and has now made his escape from Leominster to that part of the countryside he knows like the back of his hand. No, not
Foy itself, dear, the same parish but just across the Wye - to
Hole in the Wall. He might never lead another army, but I'm sure he can put together a gang of some sort...and is your husband looking forward to the "Big Match - Up" between that hulking German,
Mr Schmeling and our local boy, Josiah "Tasker" Watkins ? Of course, I can't stand violence myself....unless it involves a decent artillery barrage. What about Lord de Braose? Do you think his recall to London is imminent? Well....darling
Lady de Braose....disgrace...
continue ad nauseam, or until the City & County closes for the evening]
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