Tuesday 26 November 2019

AUTUMN BIG GAME 2019 REPORT (12)

There was now much hard fighting

In the east, the remaining Fallschirmjager slowly re-formed, dodging the much feared OGPU and tangling with the Fyffes Motor Guard and Soviet back Boy Scouts. Heavy exchanges of fire wiped out the yellow clad Fyffes troopers and sent the catapult waving Boy Scouts into a hasty retreat, but at the cost of significant Fallschirmjager casualties, the survivors being pinned and flanked by the OGPU. They were soon to die where they stood (mostly behind a hedge).

In the west, the buoyant Fallschirmjager and Government troops hastened towards Farmer Giles' land, readying themselves for the critical assault.......

On! On to victory, boys! Senior Captain Maynard (right) encourages his black clad HQ Section forward.
A Hereford Police Section leads the advance. In the distance can just be seen the "Shredded Wheat Irregulars",
still filled with fighting enthusiasm as a result of Maynard's battlefield oratory, supported by the
Lucton School Cadets.
In the centre, Farmer Roo's troops cautiously moved towards Farmer Giles' land, not in co-operation with the Government, you understand, just on the same axis of advance...The Police AT Gun disabled Farmer Roo's slow moving "Flame Tank" (much consulting of rules written in dense script on Umpire Roo's mobile phone), only to be viciously and spectacularly incinerated in their turn, but the "western" Fallschirmjager sections were now clearly flanking the Giles' farmhouse, even as Staff Captain Maynard maintained the frontal pressure...

An assault by the Shredded Wheat Irregulars on Farmer Giles' front line, manned by the News of the World
1938 Competition Winners and a variety of Giles tenantry (some of whom had clearly "just been called
up to the Navy, don'tcha know")
It was all too much. Farmer Giles' two medics were now working frantically, bandaging furiously and shoving the wounded back in to the firing line, but the attackers were making progress through the force of sheer numbers. As dusk began to fall, Farmer Giles had no option but to call for a "reluctant retreat" into the reformed Communist lines to the east of Mortimer's Cross, and tearfully abandon his family farmhouse.....

To add to Farmer Giles' discomfiture, the Fyffes Bananaman continued to plague his sniper and HQ even as
Giles' troops fell back towards the tender mercies of Colonel Comrade Professor Winters...
Such are the fortunes of the Very British Civil War. It soon became apparent that, despite his protestations, Farmer Roo had indeed "done a deal" with Senior Captain Maynard. While the Government nabbed Giles savings in lieu of back tax, in exchange Farmer Roo acquired all of Farmer Giles' former land. The retreating Farmer Giles claimed that he still had all his agricultural animals, but quite whether any would survive the Communist collective cooking pot was clearly an open question...

A tired Farmer Giles at the end of the day's combat. While his VBCW future may now be uncertain,
Farmer Giles received (by general acclamation) the Umpires VBCW Award, the tremendously valuable
Mortimers Cross Cup (and medal). Better a patriotic Hun killing hero than a caddish collaborator
and low land grabber (nb.Farmer Roo).
Colonel Comrade Professor Winters at the end of the day, surrounded by his bodyguards.
The mounted OGPU Cossack notes the "Comrade Leaders" terms for receiving Farmer
Giles surviving troops and animals into Communist lines, and will soon convey them
to the exhausted Giles. Why is Winter''s looking so pleased with himself? Perhaps
looking forward to a large, freshly cooked meal of prime Herefordshire beef?

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