FOREIGN NEWS - VBCW ACTION IN BORSETSHIRE

Long term followers of this blog will recollect the previous intervention of Superintendent Ronald Bigsworth-Hill and the Wiltshire Police Flying Column in the affairs of the Hereford VBCW, and their subsequent return to Borsetshire (or Wiltshire, or wherever, but definitely somewhere that is not-Herefordshire). The Foreign Correspondent of the "Herefordshire Times" has, however, brought back from such "furrin' parts" these splendid images of a recent parade of a re-fortified WPFC:

Ronald Bigsworth-Hill salutes the motorcycle section of the WPFC.
Motorcyclists - RAFM; Scout Car - Dinky.

A panorama of the Motorcyclists Parade. Note WPFC Canadian manufactured tank
in the right background.

Superintendent Ronald (aka Sir Gilbert Hill aka Doug exEM4) has provided full and loving details of the build-up of the WPFC on his blog, "The View from the Hill", together with a blow by blow account of their most recent "Training Exercise" under the beneficent eye the Bishop of Felpersham. New characters mix with those already much loved in the Herefordshire VBCW, such as Mad Wullie McSpaniel ("satchel bomber and confirmed maniac") and Nanny Pankhurst (who we seem to remember was once "saved from death" by her diamond encrusted girdle). Well worth a read!

The Wiltshire Police Flying Column in all its "refortified" power.

(1). One of the glories of Doug's blog is the choice of names. We particularly admire the distaff side of Sir Rufus Pitt-Bulstrode's family - his formidable wife, Lady Ferocity (usually accompanied by her secretary, Audacity Bunty-Thimble, her SIS-agent houseguest, Miss Temerity Ping, and her doberman bitch, Bitch) and Sir Rufus' five daughters, Ladies Anticipation, Persistence, Recreation, Acceptance and Reality (it being explained that "Sir Rufus wanted a son from the outset, and it is thought that his daughters names reflect this long-thwarted ambition").

(2). All photos above nicked - with a scribbled note of thanks left behind by the Raffles-style intruder -  from Doug's blog, see HERE.

SIR GILBERT'S MAGISTERIAL RETORT!

Upon becoming aware that he had been the subject of some particular gossip within the City & County Dining and Refreshment Rooms, Sir Gilbert Hill has felt moved to issue a magisterial retort: he has most certainly not retired to Borsetshire, but is as determined as ever to protect his interests in the Golden Valley. 

Nevertheless, a small family matter originating in Sir Gilbert's African possessions has proved a cause of recent distraction. We shall let Sir Gilbert's despatches take up the story:

Disturbing rumours, so far uncorroborated, have been circulating in Gilberstsville, the administrative centre of the Hill Protectorate in Zimbotholand. It is said that Ranleigh Bigsworth-Hill, nephew of Bwana Hill himself, has been taken captive by dissident tribesmen. Apparently he became separated from the detachment of the Legion of Frontiersmen that he was leading whilst on a punitive mission to arrest a dangerous shaman or witch-doctor who was fomenting unrest amongst Sir Gilbert’s subjects. The suggestion is that Ranleigh is alive and being kept as a hostage.

 

Ranleigh’s service with The League is because a of an unfortunate dalliance he had with the niece of the Earl of Snapcase, the business partner of Sir Gilbert. The product of this dalliance resulted in a threat of a horse-whipping from the Earl, followed by marriage to the lady in question, the Honourable Fanny Gusset-Monger. Sir Gilbert issued an ultimatum; Ranleigh must go and serve his uncle in Africa or accept the consequences of his actions. 

Ranleigh Bigsworth-Hill, photographed by one of his detachment
at the moment he disappeared into the bush saying
 "This looks like a short-cut to me, men."
He hasn’t been seen since.

Upon hearing these rumours of Ranleigh’s capture, Sir Gilbert growled "Serves the blighter right - may teach him to keep it in his britches in future, assuming he still has it, of course." However Ranleigh’s mother (Sir Gilbert’s sister) was less inclined to take such a relaxed view. In fact she impressed on Sir Gilbert very forcibly that Something Must Be Done. Bowing to the inevitable, Sir Gilbert sought the help of a distinguished neighbour, Lettice Crisply-Dunne, the famous lady author, traveller, explorer and adventurer. "Leave it to me, G old thing, I’ll see what can be arranged." responded that redoubtable lady.

When this unfortunate interlude is concluded, Sir Gilbert hopes to return to his Golden Valley seat and continue his Herefordshire struggles. To this end, he intends bringing a section from the League of Frontiersmen to England to help in the battles to come...

Sir Gilbert’s League of Frontiersmen section in training for Herefordshire action

Notes: with thanks to Doug for news of Sir Gilbert, whose Herefordshire tenantry may now calm themselves and ignore malicious gossip. A visit to Doug's blog is highly recommended!

AN ACQUITTAL - AND AN APOLOGY

Long term followers of this Hereford1938 AVBCW Blog (who, it is speculated, can comfortably be accommodated in the back of armoured truck) may recall not only the travails of Sir Gilbert Hill after the Battle of Winforton Pontoons, but also the earlier Government sponsored arrest of Councillor Walter Cracknutt, Commander of the Wormelow Tump LDV, upon charges of "treating with the enemy"[note1].

Cracknutt, who had steadfastly maintained his innocence throughout Lord de Braose's proceedings against him, today declared himself "complete vindicated" upon learning that all charges had finally been discontinued. His contemporaneous dispatches proved, according to the Councillor's friends and colleagues, that his 'battlefield co-operation' with "Cousin Verity" of the Verity LDV was born of necessity only, and had the added virtue of anti-Communism. While those less charitably disposed towards Cracknutt whisper that the charges could no longer be maintained by reason of an unfortunate lack of witness evidence [note2], Councillor Cracknutt has now "returned in triumph to the Tump" and - without a stain on his reputation - resumed command of the Local Defence Volunteers.

The case of Sir Gilbert Hill proved more problematic. His own acquittal has taken place not before the bar of Lord de Braose's military tribunal, but "in the court of public opinion" within the County. Accused of 'over-celebrating" his victory at the Battle of Winforton Pontoons (or perhaps falling victim to his own 'ju-ju", or simply "going absolutely, completely nautical"), Sir Gilbert's anonymous accusers appeared to have solid photographic evidence:  

The photographic evidence against Sir Gilbert Hill.

Such was the outrage in the County that Sir Gilbert had to "confine himself to quarters" in Kentridge Court. But photographs circulated later began to sow doubt in the minds of Herefordians:

A later photograph as circulated - alleged to show Sir Gilbert conspiring with
Royalist and BUF officers.

It did not need Ludlow's famed Ecclesiastical Intelligence Service to pronounce the photographic evidence against Sir Gilbert as "obviously doctored" and "crude photo-manipulations", for the people of Hereford had already reached the same conclusions. But who could be responsible for such a dastardly smear on "the good Sir Gilbert"? Which faction had both the resources and the motivation? Step forward Comrade Colonel Professor Winter's own (Soviet trained) "Bureau Desinformatsiya": 

Beware the Soviet photograph manipulators! Comrade Nicolai Yezhov, Head of the NKVD, proudly accompanies Comrade Stalin (left), only to be subsequently "airbrushed out of history" (right).
 More on Yezhov can be found HERE.
More on Comrade Colonel Professor Winters in future blogposts....

Notes:

(1). after the Autumn 2017 Big Game, "The Last of the Summer Wye".

(2). the only possible witnesses in Councillor Cracknutt's case were the Anglican with whom the infamous "battlefield truce" was concluded, Cousin Verity, and the Councillor's immediate superior on the battlefield, Group Leader Giles of the BUF. Problems with providing Verity with a "pass of safe conduct" into Government lines were rendered academic upon his being 'terminally exploded' on the battlefield itself., leaving behind "only a pair of smoking suede loafers". Plans for the intended appearance of Group Leader Giles before the military tribunal were abandoned upon his being stood up against a wall and shot by a firing party organised by Captain Queeg, commander of HMG's notorious "WYRD Force". The "timely convenience" of Giles' death has provoked "dark mutterings" as to the possibility of conspiracy between Queeg and Councillor Cracknutt...

Sir Gilbert's Sweetmeat Shock : "Engaged in A Vulgar Trade"

After the seismic shock to public taste engendered by the publication of Colonel Mustard's memoirs (lavishly illustrated copies available to order from The Liverpool Free Press, 1 Karl Marx Wharf, with a special introduction by Comrade Professor "Bill" Winters) comes news of yet another affront to decency and respectability.

According to the Government Intelligence & Telegraphy Service ("GITS"), it appears that Miss Fragrance Sweetmeat, the very very personal secretary to Sir Gilbert Hill, has been "engaged in a vulgar trade" in Devizes, far from there Herefordshire VBCW. It is said that Miss Sweetmeat, having adopted the stage (?) name "VAMP", will there "make herself available" to all and sundry for the princely purchase price (in 1938 terms, taking account of the collapse of sterling) of £1.75.

Miss Sweetmeat in attendance upon Sir Gilbert and Lady Hill

Miss Sweetmeat accompanying Sir Gilbert Hill at the Battle of Winforton Pontoons

Comparison of contemporary photographs of Miss Sweetmeat and "the VAMP" leave very little prospect of mistaken identity. The gossip within the City and County Refreshment Rooms has reached a frenzied crescendo. Just when he thought it would be safe to leave his turret rooms at Kentchurch Court, now all of Herefordshire awaits a public statement from Sir Gilbert....

Concerns for Sir Gilbert!

Sir Gilbert Hill (in 1/60 scale), accompanied by Lady Hill and
 Miss Fragrance Sweetmeat, Very Personal Assistant to Sir Gilbert

Concerns have recently been widely expressed within Hereford's City and County Dining and Refreshment Rooms that Sir Gilbert Hill, of Pontrilas, Ewas Harold and Abbey Dore, may well be over-celebrating the victory of his famous Golden Valley Invincibles (and their Anglican allies) at the recent Battle of Winforton Pontoons. With his recent recruitment of some strange tribals as a "(Dominions and Colonial) Loyal Volunteers Section", lately supported by some notorious female practitioners of "the dark arts", these central questions are being asked : is Sir Gilbert quite well? Has he fallen victim to a ju-ju spell? And just what is he smoking?

Just what is he smoking? The 1/1 scale Sir Gilbert Hill manoeuvres
 his landing fleet at the Battle of Winforton Pontoons, inspired
(it is widely surmised) by some "waccy baccy", as said to be
a gift from Chief Kansan O'Flynn [note1] Or is it simply
 "The Sweet Cheroot of Victory" and the characteristic
 VBCW smell of "nicotine in the morning"?

Rumours are spreading that Sir Gilbert has even taken to drinking heavily, such strong spirits causing him to suffer from serious delusions or, in layman's terms, "to go absolutely, completely nautical" [note2]:

"I see no ships". In the midst of one of his legendary drinking bouts, The 1/1 scale
Sir Gilbert suffers "a fit of the Nelsons" (or should that be "Priens"?) [note2].

In his present rumoured travails, Sir Gilbert will undoubtedly benefit from the support of his close family, both Lady Hill and his eldest son, The Honourable Timothy Hill, together with the wise counsel of his particular friend, Monsieur Picardy, and the tender ministrations of his Very Personal Assistant, Miss Sweetmeat. Nevertheless, the prevailing gossip is that Sir Gilbert's recent erratic behaviour has caused him to be "confined to quarters" within the turret rooms at his Pontrilas HQ, historic Kentchurch Court [note3]:

Note1: oh, alright then. In case the modern day health police are worried, it's just a strange trick of the camera that makes the 1/1 scale Sir Gilbert look like he's smoking. But as this is AVBCW 1938, spoilsports...

Note2: Cheers! A photo from the absolutely splendid LAF thread to be found HERE, as marvellously titled "On the Day, Went the Eagle's Landing Well?". A full ingredients list for Sir Gilbert's interestingly named "Between the Sheets" cocktail (shades of Miss Sweetmeat, shurely?) may be found within the LAF thread, HERE

Note3: and historically the home of the Lucas-Scudamores. Quite how Sir Gilbert came to base himself at Kentchurch Court during the Hereford AVBCW may have to be the subject of another blogpost. For now, it need only be noted that "Lord Scudamore's Loyal Legion" were specifically singled out for praise by Lt. Everard (as he then was) in his confidential (but captured) despatches after the Battle of Winforton Pontoons. See Lt. Everard's despatches within this blogpost

SIR GILBERT'S NEW RECRUITS

Sir Gilbert Hill, well known leader of the Golden Valley Invincibles, has used his criminal empire extensive international trading and business links to raise some new troops, the Hill Enterprises (Dominions and Colonial) Loyal Volunteers Section, lead by Chief Kansan O'Flynn. Their famous cooking pot, as publicly reserved for Stokkies Joubert and the like, has yet to be seen; but the new Section's parade past Sir Gilbert and his loyal HQ staff may be found HERE. Enjoy!

SPRING BIG GAME 2018 - Superintendant Ronald Bigsworth - Hill and the WPFC

It is newly disclosed, by way of a widely-circulated press release from Sir Albert Brock KCB, Chief Constable of the Wiltshire Constabulary, that a Wiltshire Police Flying Column ("WPFC"), as lead in person by Superintendant Ronald Bigsworth-Hill, provided substantial assistance to Sir Barrington Patchpole KC in his recent defence of Mortimer Country. 

Judging that here might be a new star in the firmament of the VBCW, Fleet Street has had its collective eye on Ronald Bigsworth-Hill for some time. Ronalds's early involvement in the VBCW at the Battles of Camrose and Robbleston Hall have already been written up here; his subsequent adventures and switch from BUF Storm Leader to Police Superintendant are detailed here.

Although not disclosed within Sir Albert Brock's Press Release, it may be that Ronald has received advice and assistance from his relatives - his uncle Sir Gilbert Hill, well known to all within Herefordshire, and his first cousin once removed, Sir Rufus Pitt - Bulstrode, an independent landowner of considerable influence. Those who "take the better class of newspapers" will already be familiar with the battles of Sir Rufus' estate workers against both clowns and chimpanzees within the County boundaries of Borsetshire: it is understood to be Sir Rufus' private view that his young relative Ronald was "up against much the same type of opposition, don't y'know" in his recent adventures in Mortimer Country.

But where is Ronald now? Following Mortimer Country's switch of allegiance to Storm Commander Giles' BUF, will Ronald's past as a former BUF Storm Leader (deserted) now catch up with him? Fleet Street is already full of deeply unflattering profiles of Sir Barrington Patchpole KC. It is widely rumoured that Sir Barrington, knowingly or unknowingly, "sold Ronald down the river" when allying Mortimer Country with the forces of HM Government. Will the BUF seek to take revenge on Ronald and the WPFC for "explosively despatching" one of their most senior and effective leaders, none other than Major Straitt-Jackett himself? Will the Wiltshire Police Flying Column have to "fight its way out" of the very place they originally volunteered to defend? Or will Sir Gilbert have to come to the aid of his nephew? [1]

Notes

[1]. In the time-honoured tradition, it need only be said that these, as with so many other questions, can only be resolved by participation in the AUTUMN BIG GAME 2018, now fixed for Saturday 13th October at the Burley Gate Village Hall!