A PROMOTION (AND THOSE FASCIST LEADERS IN FULL)

The "County & Social" pages of "The Hereford Times", renamed the "Military, County & Social" from the beginning of the Very British Civil War in Herefordshire, today carried a short announcement:

"Everard, Richard (Lt.) to be styled Major (County Rank Only) with seniority dating from the Battle of Winforton Pontoons. Major Everard will assume command of all HM Government Forces within the County, reporting directly to the Lord Warden of the Marches, Lord de Braose."

It appears that the Lord Warden has thus moved quickly to fill the leadership position so recently vacated ("with extreme prejudice") by Group Leader Giles. Demonstrating an unexpected delicacy of diplomatic manoeuvre, Lord de Braose did not forward Lt. Everard's name for promotion to the War Office (and hence the King), preferring to provide his new Commander in Chief with a "County rank" only. No doubt it was anticipated that, whatever Lt. Everard's undoubted military merits, his reputed closeness to Queen Wallis would have earned His Majesty's express disapproval of any proposed promotion within the regular Army.

As the newly promoted Major Everard settled into his substantial offices at the County Hall, he may have paused to give some thought to the fate of his various predecessors and fellow Government commanders:

(1). Lord Foy (in hiding): Government C-in-C at the beginning of the Herefordshire VBCW, Lord Foy enjoyed substantial early successes, including the capture of Anglican held Hereford and the detention of the Bishop of Hereford himself, before suffering successive disasters at the First and Second Battles of Foy. He escaped the Government rout at the latter only by shaving off his instantly identifiable moustache and diving head first into the River Wye in an attempt to swim to safety. It is said that he did indeed escape (by punt), but found himself unable to live with his consequent disgrace. He has therefore adopted a new identity and now lives under an assumed name, earning his living as a humble hop picker and agricultural labourer in the vicinity of Leominster.

(2). Captain Arrowsmith (absent without leave): BUF Supremo and effective Government C-in-C following the sudden departure of Lord Foy, Captain Arrowsmith rose to command prominence in a succession of subsequent battles (the Battle of Eardisley, The Battle of Bredwardine Bridge, and the Battle of Bredwarrdine Fords) which (just) contained the Anglicans' attempted advance from Ross on Wye to Hay on Wye in order to capture the whole of the south of the County. Known for his love of behemothic tanks and high technology (planes, "darleks", multi machine gunned armoured motorcycles and converted canal boats) together with a contempt for civilian lives, private property and cute furry animals (particularly dogs), Captain Arrowsmith's BUF forces and "canal boat fleet" enjoyed a last success against a Socialist/Anglican alliance at the Battle of Whitney on Wye before he inexplicably disappeared from Hereford and the Hereford VBCW. His controversial disappearance has subsequently been associated with the disappearance of the Bank of England's gold reserves and collapse of the pound sterling. There has been much County gossip and speculation about Captain Arrowsmith's subsequent fate : it is presently thought that the once all powerful BUF Leader now scrapes a living in Munich as a lowly translator for "aryan lifestyle magazines".

(3). Lord Robert Grover (returned to his estates): Senior Royalist Officer within the County during the early battles of Hereford's VBCW, it is said that Lord Robert "fell into disfavour" with Lord de Braose, HM Government's Lord Warden of the Marches, after intervening in Lord de Braose's enraged attempt to murder the imprisoned Bishop of Hereford. While a re-appearance in Hereford's VBCW cannot be ruled out, Lord Robert has, for the moment, "returned to his estates". 

(4). Major Straitt-Jackett (exploded): Major Miles Straitt-Jackett achieved an early reputation as a masterful VBCW diplomat. It was he who persuaded (the very late) "Cousin Verity" (a supposedly loyal Anglican LDV commander) into a "battlefield truce" at the Battle of Berrington Approaches, thereby saving HM Government from total disaster. He then brokered a treaty between HM Government and Sir Barrington Patchpole KC at the subsequent Battle of Wigmore, thereby administering the first check to Comrade Professor "Bill" Winters "Red Horde" offensive. But for one small matter, Major Straitt-Jackett may well have been destined to achieve overall command of HM Govt forces. The explosion of a heavy artillery shell directly on top of his head in the last stages of the Battle of Wigmore, however, did little for Major Straitt-Jackett's career prospects. He (or his re-animated remains) is presently an in-patient at the Special Hospital for Injuries Treatment, Woolwich, and his future remains uncertain. 

(5). Commandante Jay (sunk): Commandante Jay, the leader of the (Politically Confused) Spanish Nationalist Monarchist Field Force allied to the BUF in the course of many Hereford VBCW battles, distinguished himself further by finishing second in the County Golf Cup Challenge, and thereafter returned to Madrid for "a triumphal homecoming". Recalled to the BUF colours for the Battle of Wigmore, it is said that the ship carrying Commandante Jay struck an Anglican mine at the junction of the Rivers Severn and Wye, and rumoured that the transport sank "with all hands". The search for Commandante Jay continues, but it is very much feared that he has drowned, along with his entire Field Force.

(6). Commandant Stokkies Joubert (captured): A (reputedly very) loveable South African rogue, Stokkies Joubert commanded the "King's Colonials" from an early stage of the Hereford VBCW, taking part in the Battles of Second Ledbury and Marcle Ridge. A constant support for HM Government throughout the VBCW (when not wenching, carousing or "lying in" at the City Arms Hotel, Hereford), Joubert was captured by the Bishop of Ludlow's forces at the Battle of Winforton Pontoons, and presently languishes dolefully in the deepest dungeon beneath Ludlow Castle. 

(7). Group Leader Giles (shot at dawn): although HM Government have lost a significant number of leaders during the course of the Hereford VBCW (see above), Group Leader Giles is the only one to enjoy the dubious distinction of having been shot by his own troops after a drumhead court martial.

Notwithstanding his own meteoric rise to command, Major Everard must now contend with the substantial challenges to Government authority within the County. Attacked from both south and north by now battle-hardened Anglican armies and from the west by the fanatical legions of Comrade Professor Winter's Not So Broad Front (Not After Our Latest Round of Liquidations) True Communists, Major Everard must recruit new Government commanders, recall those who are still alive, at liberty and even arguably within their senses (Roderick Spode, anyone?), obtain immediate allies (a social call upon the Malvern Hills Conservators, perhaps?) procure substantial re-inforcements from within or without the County (Captain Queeg's WYRD Force?) and generally "stabilise his lines". None of this is likely to be particularly easy to accomplish, a prison cell or worse awaits any failure, and the statistical odds seem stacked against him.....